The Cure

Do you ever have those days when you just don't dare go in public? Physically, you feel gross--hair doesn't work, bags under your eyes, clothes are stained. On those days, my insecurities make me surly or sad or any of the other negative emotions you can think of. Who can say, on any of those days, if the physical issues create the emotional, or if the emotional issues create the physical. I daresay, they work hand-in-hand. On those days, for the safety and benefit of others, it is best that I don't leave the house!

You'd think that at this Grandma stage of life, I'd have a better grip on my insecurities. I can assure you, I actually do! But that is not something to discuss here. The thing to discuss here is the quickest, surest cure to days like that! In a split second, I can switch from feeling gross or anxious or surly or sad to being completely happy and at peace with who I am.

The Cure, you ask? It is simple. It works every time. It gives me courage and strength and joy!

Yep--you guessed it. The cure is Grandkids.

My daughter-in-law called the other day inviting me to come hold the baby. Just that--come hold the baby. I was a tired mess, not put together at all. I had been trying to get some business done, while doing things in the kitchen (disaster), and feeling quite overwhelmed and somewhat discouraged..

My immediate answer--"I'll be there in 30 minutes." Every other stressor melted into the background. I finished the task at hand, grabbed some Grandma Mints, and hurried over. I didn't even brush my hair first--just hopped in the car and took off.

When I arrived, Grand #2 was already outside waiting for me. She ran over to the car just as I opened the door. She didn't even wait for me to get out. She just crawled up on my lap to give me a hug--bit of a tight squeeze with the steering wheel in the way. She talked to me nonstop on our way to the porch.

On the porch was Grand #5, sitting in his baby chair next to Mom. As soon as he made eye contact, the biggest smile lit his face. Then when I picked him up, he started jabbering at me using all the sounds and volumes he could come up with. We went into the house and all ended up sitting on the floor, playing together.

After a few minutes, Grand #1 made her appearance. She'd just woken from a desperately needed, although not typical, nap. As she rounded the corner, she saw me. The smile that spread across her sleepy face was like sunshine. She made her way over for hugs, and then just stayed near me for the rest of my visit.

I looked horrible--not even good enough to go to Walmart--and those three Grands didn't care one bit. They didn't see the stained clothes or messy hair or the bags under my eyes. They didn't see the piles of things I still hadn't finished or the lists of things that only I could do. They just saw Grandma. And Grandma means love and hugs and listening and playing--and peppermints.

When I got home, I still had a smile on my face because of the funny conversations and the things we all did together. The smile was also from recognizing that I am much more than what I look like or what I feel like. I am unconditionally loved for who I am, not for what I do or don't do. I am their Grandma, and that makes me important.

I still had the mountain of stuff to tackle. But I was cured. I am happy. I am strong. I am Grandma.